013.

I was picking dandelions from next doors backyard and was thinking, love is not just having someone at the other end of the phone line about 73% of the time, or lottery tickets and movie screens with a ring on the fourth finger. Love is a grasping-for-air twenty thousand feet free fall, or 120 miles per hour on the highway and four hours on a plane just to see a single smile. Love is hands on face, on lips, on cheeks. Love is inside our veins, places we can’t dig deep enough to get with a silver spoon. Love is a discovery, its stomping on toes with a stick in its hands and a voice saying, “stop avoiding, stop the excuses and for God sakes stop being scared!” Love is someone special, someone who can make you open hot air balloons with your palms, while they write you a thank you post-it-note to stick to your forehead. Some say, love is friendship set on fire, and if your lucky enough to find someone you can give yourself to, mind, body and soul. Then you should hold on, and hope like hell you don’t get burned.

012.

I adore Mumford and Sons. 
They remind me of my dear friend Ashley Melina Ross - my other half. We spent many, many hours singing at the top of our lungs, dance like idiots, and playing chatroulette at odd times of the night. We spent days talking about out lives,  planning our futures and promising that no matter what, we would keep in touch. 
I miss you, and this one is for you. 

011.

Some say, the truth will set you free but to be honest, I’m more worried about the rest. We all go through life masking the truth, in some cases for good reason, others just because they don’t know how people are going to react. If people didn’t have such high expectations and stopped hiding behind these walls of comfort we’ve all build for ourselves maybe there would be less judgments and more realizations. We neglect to see it from someone else’s views, and just focus on ‘how is this going to affect me’, because if we don’t, god forbid, it makes us different and venerable to be let down and hurt. So if the truth is right before your eyes and you accept it, then let’s hope like hell it works out in the end, and that tomorrow turns our better than the last.

010.

We all go day by day, racing to the finish of this game we can never win. sometimes, we just need time to stop and think. There’s no hurry, not everything has to be right or perfect. So let it go, buckle up, and let life take us where it may. 

Life’s a journey, not a destination” who will you walk with?

009.

008.

Daily Quote:
(From the movie baised on the novel written by Mitch Albom, Tuesdays with Morrie.)

"So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they're busy doing things they think are important. This is because they're chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning." (p.43)

007.

This morning has been awfully slow.
But the sun is trying to creep through the clouds, bringing us the pleasure of a sunny day. This probably will not last to long.
So this song was showed to me by a dear friend about a year ago now,
Only, yesterday, I discovered it again.
I hope you enjoy it

006.

Write about a book.
I already have.
I'd been reading a book called At A Loss For Words by Diane Schoemperlen. It is a beautiful anti-love letter novel about a woman damned by love. It reminds me at times of my past and that in time I will grow accustom to, but until then I find it strangely alarming. 
I googled the title. 
It is a band as well, and sounds quite frightening but they weren't half bad. Still, every time I hear that phrase, lines from the novel pop into my head.

I spent the rest of the afternoon washing windows and dancing alone in the living room. I played U2's "Beautiful Day" six times in a row. I jumped around and sang at the top of my lungs until my windows were cleaner than clean. (Page 30)

005.

Daily thought: Sometimes, life gets complicated. 
The only thing we can do is watch it happen and scream from the sidelines.

004.

I've hardly been outside my room in days, because I don't feel that I deserve the sunshine's rays. The darkness helped until the whiskey wore away and, it was then I realized the conscience never fades. When you're young you have this image of your life: That you'll be scrupulous and one day even make a good wife. You make boundaries you'd never dream to cross, and if you happen to you wake completely lost. I remember someone old once said to me:

"That lies will lock you up with truth the only key." 

I was comfortable and warm inside my shell and couldn't see this place would soon become my hell. So, is it better to tell and hurt or lie to save their face? Well I guess the answer is don't do it in the first place. I know I'm not deserving of your trust from you right now, but if by chance you change your mind you know I will not let you down because we were the special two, and we'll be again. I step outside my mind's eye's for a minute and I look over me like a doctor looking for disease, or something that could ease the pain. But nothing cures the hurt you, you bring on by yourself, just remembering, just remembering how we were... And we will only need each other, we'll breathe together, our hands will not be taught to hold another's, when we're the special two. And we could only see each other, we'll bleed together, these arms will not be taught to need another, because, 
We were the special two.

The Special Two 

 * Missy Higgins 

003.

I woke up this morning, almost as if I was expecting something. Slowly and carefully opening my window, that warming expectation went away, and was replaced by a cold-looking-crappy-feeling-freeze-your-ass-off-wear-a-jacket-outside-wish-I-could-sleep-all-day-shouldn't-even-be-called-weather, weather. Unfortunately, having already slept for about 9 and a half hours, going back to bed was not an option, so I looked in amazement. 
IT IS SEPTEMBER - Only Calgary weather ladies and gentlemen, the one place you can have 4 seasons in one day!

002.

I guess we mostly get caught up in the same thing, boy and girl “together forever”, friends who would 'never' leave. But it is never that perfect story of love and heartbreak told over and over, it's more about chance, love, and truth, and the colors of life that we may not always see. Eyes inside of eyelids tucked away, where it feels like no one will ever find them. I still remember those nights, when nothing seemed to matter. The days where all you could do was laugh at our stupidity. Times where all we wanted to do was cry. In my mind it was like life just stood still, and the world stopped rotating for a single moment, but then snapped us back to reality just as fast as we could take a breath. About a year ago, i discovered that with growing up, it became harder to feel.. But maybe it isn't more difficult to feel, maybe we just feel differently and different more complex emotions. You just have to surround yourself with people that make you happy. 

001.